hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Randomize
