I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
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She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
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Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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