We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
