WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
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