I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
