The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
