He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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