mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
