I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
