So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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