got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
