Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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