True but thats because hes a fetus.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
