Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
