I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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