i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
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