after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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