How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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