dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
thus making me awesome and them whores
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
