i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
50% drunk capacity currently
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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