I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
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