Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
