Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
