I never want to see another naked old woman again.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
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