Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
it hurts more in the daytime
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
