i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
