my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
