I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
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