Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
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