She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
