let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
