Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
