Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
