dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
