Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
