If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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