We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
