I CAN MOONWALK!
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize