Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Randomize
