Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
i just wanna soil my oats bro
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
