Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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