Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
