god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
honey bunches of taint.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Randomize
