I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize