I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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