So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
did you just send me my own nude
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
