I'm gonna have a badass scar
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Randomize
