Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
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We need to start having sex underwater more often.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize