I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
