You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
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