I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
