how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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