did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
