she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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