So drunk, too bad you don't want this
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize
