Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
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