I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
