oh god the rape fog is back!
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize