Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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