M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
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