she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
