You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
