I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
