i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
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