they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
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So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
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You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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