Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
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